thanksgiving is a weird holiday, thinking about it, even ignoring the sociopolitical history and all the bloodiness that comes along with the native history of america—but even in simply the act of having a holiday so feigning the drive of thanks, familial connection, and community in a country that seems to have culturally severed itself from that kind of empathy, it is a difficult picture to paint in my head.
of course the celebration and traditions that have permeated my family feel disconnected from that (and i'm sure there's a deeper cultural bias at play with that), but it's still such an interesting and, to my own history and standards, the most unique holiday i have. eating food with family that i would otherwise literally never eat, while having all the backdrop of fall, a ton of inflated balloons in new york city, and everything else... it's nice, and the overall energy of the holiday in my context is absolutely absorbing :)
that's all i have to say about that though; my work on this website has been a bit curbed simply by my being in university, which feels like a valid thing to prioritize at this point in my life, and i've come to realize w the help of just talking and being open with the people (or person) that cares to listen, that it's always going to be here. it's a wonderfully timeless space, even if i like marking the date and times for everything that gets posted. it is magic the ability to create, even if most of my creation now is simply pasting thoughts upon thoughts, and that ability is never diminished with time for me (in fact, it probably only increases as time passes).
i'm a bit sad that my grand idea for a video with me in it for thanksgiving, talking about all the review stuff that i've been up to has officially fallen through though, even if in the back of my head i'm relieved i can relax a bit more easily and type a bit more about music i've been listening to, instead of sitting in front of camera doing the same in a far less refined way. but christmas in a month might give me more time, so we'll see what happens.
at least i know it'll always be here :>